


I live there still

by vonherder



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nick Fury Feels, Nick Fury Needs A Hug, Night Terrors, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-24
Updated: 2014-03-24
Packaged: 2018-01-16 20:19:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1360471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vonherder/pseuds/vonherder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>No I ain't scared of lightning, and thunder never killed. I was born in a summer storm...</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	I live there still

**Author's Note:**

> I think I warned for everything. Let me know if I didn't and I will get on that right quick.
> 
> Title and summary from _I Ain't Scared Of Lightning_ by Tom McRae
> 
> I hadn't intended to work on anything new today, but this happened. I was thinking about a conversation I'd passed through once, years back, between my parents and a friend. He'd been talking a little bit about why he refused to share a bed with his wife during his first few months home after returning from Afghanistan. It kind of always stuck with me, I guess.
> 
> In any case, this isn't happy, really, at all. It ended up a sort of sequel to _Smoke_ , but it doesn't have to be read like that.

When Nick came to, Tony was staring up at him, wide eyed and afraid.

“Nick,” he was pleading, soothingly though his voice shook. “Nick, it's a dream. Please, it's just a dream.”

Nick stared at him, not quite understanding. Tony's shirt was torn and stretched beneath his hands, tethering them together. If he looked carefully, he could see the beginnings of finger shaped marks on Tony's neck.

“Nick?”

He met Tony's gaze,” What did I do?”

“Nothing, it was a dream.”

Nick eyed the bruise beginning to form on his jaw.

“It's fine,” Tony said, quietly. He ran his hands slowly over Nick's chest, smoothed the thin, worn fabric over his shoulders, tired to sooth. “I'm fine.”

Nick gently touch Tony's jaw, and the younger man wasn't a good enough actor to completely hide his wince. Nick sat back a swallowed. He began extracting his fingers from the holes he'd torn in Tony's shirt.

“Nick, calm down and let's—”

“No. Go to sleep, Tony.”

“Not without you,” he pleaded, trying to get a grip on his hand or arm or shirt as Nick ducked out of the way and crawled from where he'd straddled Tony's hips. “Wait, please.”

Nick shook his head and backed away, fleeing the room. He could hear Tony call out to him as he shut the bedroom door.

He made it halfway down the hall before he faltered and stopped. He wiped a hand slowly over his face and pressed his back to the wall. He let himself slide down to the floor, knees drawn up toward his chest. He rested his forearms atop his knees and pressed his face into his hands.

A few metres back down the hall, the bedroom door cracked open, “Nick?”

He didn't move, didn't make any effort to search out Tony's eyes as he stepped carefully down the hall. He bare feet made little sound as he moved closer and Nick wanted nothing more than to close his hand around Tony's ankle and run a finger over that tiny spot above his heel, the one that would send him into a shuddering fit of laughter.

Instead, Nick laced his fingers together, rested his chin atop his clasped hands.

Tony carefully sat in front of him, back pressed to the opposite wall. He changed into one of Nick's old shirts, one stretched and loose and hung off of Tony's shoulder making him look smaller and more delicate than he could possibly be. He crossed his ankles and wrapped his arms around his knees, “Are you okay?”

He briefly flicked his eyes to Tony's then back to the spot on Tony's chest, where he'd torn holes through the cloth, where he'd come so close to—

He swallowed and thought about the soft, warm skin on the inside of Tony's forearm, up near the crook of his arm. He thought about the way Tony would giggle and shake.

“We should probably talk, or something.” He sighed heavily and leaned forward to rest his chin atop his knees. “I think I might like to talk.”

“Go to sleep, Tony.”

“Not without you.”

Nick smiled a little.

“Please, let's just go back to bed.”

He shook his head, “I won't be able to sleep.”

Tony nodded, “Okay.”

As they sat in the silence, Nick though about dragging one finger tip up Tony's neck and the way he would jerk and jump away with a shriek, eyes bright and dancing.

“I love you,” Tony said, sudden and earnestly, the first to give any voice to it. 

Nick smiled a little more, sadder this time. He shifted and held a hand out to the younger man, beckoning.

Tony took the invitation without question, and settled himself between Nick's legs, his own legs stretched out beneath one knee, back against the other. He tucked one shoulder beneath Nick's arm and wrapped a hand around his back. Tony pressed his cheek to Nick's clavicle and relaxed with a relieved sigh.

Nick grasped Tony's other hand where it rested upon his chest and thought about what would happen if he dug his finger tips into Tony's ribs. About how he would begin to squirm and tremble with laughter and joy and anything and everything but fear.

He pressed his nose into Tony's hair and breathed deep, eyes slipping closed, “I'm sorry.”

“Hush.” Tony's laced his fingers with Nick's and settled a little further down into his warmth, “It's okay.”

“But it isn't”

“Nick, I'm okay.”

He curled his arm around Tony and pressed a kiss to his crown, smiling sadly.

“Look, it's, like, four in the morning. What say you and me go shower and then make breakfast? And then we'll go downstairs and tinker. We already made Lola fly, I bet we can turn her into a spaceship, too.”

Nick huffed a tiny laugh against the top of Tony's head.

“Please, Nick,” he pleaded, tightening his grip around Nick's fingers.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

Nick nodded and brushed a hand up Tony's spine, relishing in the way that he shivered lightly in his arms. He heaved a great sigh and hauled Tony to his feet, “C'mon, let's go shower.”

Tony's grin shone with relief and he tucked himself against Nick's side, hugging him tight. 

He gripped Tony' right back, holding him like it was the first and last time. Like he'd never feel that warmth again, like he'd never felt anything like it. Like he'd never had someone so warm and comfortable and trusting in his arms before. He pressed his lips into Tony's hair and breathed out the words against the top of his head.

Tony pulled back enough to pressed a kiss to the corner of Nick's mouth and began to lead them back down the hall, “You know that Lola is yours right? So, we don't have to tinker with her any more.”

Nick chuckled and ran his fingers through Tony's hair, “Nah, I always wanted my own spaceship.”

“ _Pah_ , you have spaceships.”

“SHIELD property, doesn't count.”

Tony laughed and pushed into the room.

Everything had been straightened. Pillows and books had been replaced, chairs righted and the lamp fixed. Tony had spared a few moments to erase it all, to make everything normal again, so that they could forget. So they could go on.

Nick forced a small, reassuring smile and nudged him toward the bathroom, “Go on. I'll be in in a moment.”

Tony began to frown, “Nick—”

“No, no. I'm okay. I just... I need a moment. To clear my head. I'll be right in.”

Tony relaxed and nodded. He squeezed Nick around the waist once and then moved away, smiling once more, “Don't take too long. I plan on having waffles some time this morning.”

Nick chuckled and nudged him forward again, “Go, times waiting.”

His smile became a mischievous smirk and he threw a wink over his shoulder, “Well you better hurry up then.”

Nick's smile stayed as he watched Tony strut away, too big shirt hanging off of one shoulder and his boxers slung low on his hips. 

He waited until he could hear water running before he moved, quickly gathering a bag and some clothes. He dressed as he moved down the hall, tugging on sweats and not bothering to lace his boots properly. He had to hurry.

“JARVIS, I need you to buy me some time.”

“ _How long, Director?_ ”

“Get me ten minutes and I'll be far enough gone,” he said, throwing his coat on as he made his way through their living room. “Please.”

“ _I can't guarantee that he will listen, but I will do my best._ ”

“That's more than enough, JARVIS, thank you,” he said, nodding as the elevator slid open in front of him. “Make sure he know that he knows that... This isn't his fault. He can't blame himself like we both know he'll try to do.”

“ _I will do my best._ ”

Nick sagged against the elevator wall and it began its decent. He tilted his head back against the wall and closed his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> I accidentally _Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D._ 'd a little.
> 
> There are probably typos, feel free and encouraged to point them out.


End file.
